the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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