btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Randomize
