I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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