I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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