Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
