i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
