I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
