I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
