Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
