im drinking this country out of the recession.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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