last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
This baby is an asshole
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
