So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
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