Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
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