Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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