O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
