I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
