This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
