the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
