your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I bet he comes in French.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
