Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
