I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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