and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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