No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
