i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm really busy with my period
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