i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
