can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
