if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
