nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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