I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
