i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We're too hungover to prance.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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