So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
my shit smells like andre
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
If I die, sorry about rent.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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