So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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