if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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