i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
