I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
