Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
