Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize