You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
