are you still at the devil's house?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
