last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
