I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
