Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
