I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
