Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
