I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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