if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Ladies don't puke and tell
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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