But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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