I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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