If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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