Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
