I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
