drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Actions speak louder than pants.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
