Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
